Self Care - Remember to secure your own mask before helping others!

At the end of my most recent professional supervision session my supervisor concluded with a note on self-care saying "Remember to secure your own mask before helping others". This line that so many of us have heard from aircraft safety briefings might seem out of place when talking to a group of hypnotherapists but it really resonated with me. Why?

Well, consider what that line about making sure your own oxygen mask is secure before helping anyone else really means and why it's important. Don't help the person next to you before sorting yourself out - not even if that person is your own child. That might sound selfish when for most of us our natural tendency would be the exact opposite - 'I've got to help them, they're scared and in trouble!'.

But we'd be wrong, wouldn't we. In this situation, stopping to help another first could spell disaster for both of us as not securing your own mask first would render you unable to help anyone. This resonated because it's exactly the same for any one of us trying to help someone else get through a difficult time and achieve their goal, whether that be reducing anxiety, anger or depression, coping with OCD, losing weight, stopping smoking or building confidence etc.. If we aren't in a good place ourselves, how can we expect to usefully help someone else.

In a time when so many are suffering from increased anxiety, including our nearest and dearest, we want to be able to offer comfort, support and reassurance but we can only do that if we are also looking after ourselves too. That goes for all of us, hypnotherapists or not, and that can be a challenge!

We're used to putting the needs and wants of others first - at work and at home - but to be at our best we have to remember to take care of ourselves and not feel guilty about it. Not all situations are life-threatening and it's OK to say 'No' to the requests and demands of others sometimes.

It's also OK to say 'No' to that primitive part of our mind that says 'you must ...', 'you mustn't....', 'you have to worry about...' or 'this is never going to change/get better'. In fact, the more we say 'No' to unhelpful thoughts and replace them with something useful, the better we feel and the more able we are to cope. We make the negative path the road less travelled. Just by doing something we enjoy, talking to a friend or having a laugh we can make a new road. A road that is more welcoming and pleasant to travel. A road that takes you forward to where you want to go at a pace you want to go at, where solutions pop up like road signs to help you along the way because you're no longer concentrated on the problem.

Self-care is like road maintenance - or aircraft maintenance to use my analogy from earlier. If your aircraft is well maintained there are less likely to be issues and your own oxygen mask may not be needed. You're also in a better position to help those around you should they need theirs. When you feel better, others around you reap the benefits too.

So, ask yourself if it's time for some maintenance. You know the signs in yourself - you might feel short-tempered, irritable, tearful, be sleeping badly, struggling to focus or having headaches. The warning signs are individual to you. Once you identify them you'll recognise them if they appear again in the future and when you do, you'll know it's time to be kind to yourself, help yourself and get your 'oxygen mask' back on first.

Some thoughts for my self-care today:

5 mins peace & quiet - just me & a cup of tea
Start my new craft project
Have a walk
Find out the collective noun for a group of hypnotherapists because that's really bugging me now!

#MentalHealthAwarenessWeek

< Older Post Newer Post >

Solution Focused Positivity vs Toxic Positivity

by Elaine Neale • 24 Nov, 2021

How Realistic Positive Thinking Helps

Smiling, relaxed and confident woman speaking in public

How to be Confident with Public Speaking

by Elaine Neale • 19 Oct, 2021

A small change in perception can make a huge change in confidence

Hypnotherapy and Fertility: A Personal Journey

by Elaine Neale • 11 Jun, 2021

This is my own story of how hypnotherapy helped my infertility

How Play Helps Mental Health and Reduce Anxiety

Play for Childhood Day: Why it's Important

by Elaine Neale • 10 Jun, 2021

The pandemic has stolen a bit of childhood from our kids. 21st June 2021 is Childhood Day aimed at highlighting the importance of play. Play involves the positive, creative an innovative part of the brain and naturally boosts endorphins and seratonin which reduce anxiety.

"Just had my initial visit and I am feeling positive about what I can achieve with Elaine's help. She was so easy to talk to and I felt so at ease."

- L

Button
"Elaine talked me through the journey that I would take and her soothing voice and encouragement helped immensely. I would thoroughly recommend Elaine's hypnotherapy. Brilliant! Thank you!"

- N
"Delighted with my treatment and still listen to my download. Thanks Elaine!"

- T
“Guess what? It worked! Thanks you so so much! Such a relief to be done with it all! Thank You!"

- N
"Very relaxing and Elaine explained the process very well during our initial session. The download she gives you as part of the initial session is brilliant! I would definitely recommend her, very nice and professional premises."

- T

Button
"I had four hypnotherapy sessions with Elaine and notice a huge difference in my sleep quality. She was very professional and also very easy to talk to. Highly recommend!

- G

Button
"I had hypnotherapy to deal with severe IBS symptoms & had several online sessions. I felt reassured by Elaine's friendly but professional attitude & found that the emphasis on positivity really worked well . In around two months my IBS symptoms improved & I felt able to take control of other things too, with Elaine’s support. I strongly recommend Happy Hypnotherapy to anyone dealing with tension-related issues."

- E

Button
"My experience at Happy Hypnotherapy was amazing, it totally changed my way of thinking and reacting to situations, I cannot thank Elaine enough for the advice and help I received, my confidence levels are sky high now and it has totally changed my life."

- D

Button
"Worked with Elaine for 6 months and it was a fantastic experience. She was helpful, understanding and extremely supportive. Spent the first 3-4 months listening to her audio script every night and then gradually transitioned to no longer requiring it to manage with stress and anxiety. Would highly recommend to those who have never done hypnotherapy before and are open minded enough to try it."

- S

Button